ramblings on my new one woman show, roman numerals, and why I am sad when you friend me on facebook

I am shoveling down an arugula salad and gluten free burrito, which makes me sound a whole lot healthier than I actually am. I did start working out last week, however...it has been about three years since I lifted weights; that is, if you don't count my burdens as weight lifting. Gotta' admit, I am pretty shocked at how out of shape I am. Who knew? Might just quit now and stick to carrying my cross. I mean, it is heavy. Just not sure how to calculate calories burned...

Yesterday I went grocery shopping and all that I bought was mayo, tampons and lip balm. I don't know why, but I felt I had to explain my purchase. Just wanted to be sure we all understood that the mayo was for sandwiches.

At my bible study, my table was discussing the beauty of silence. I expressed my inner desire to become a Hermit. Or Kermit. Not that I think Kermit is prayerful, or anything. I just have really always been a muppet fan.

Annie asked for help with Roman Numerals. I thought she needed help with Ramen Noodles. And I was all like, "You just add hot water....."

I have been reading Exodus, and I have to say, that manna and quail sounds like exactly what I need. I am so sick of pretending that I can cook, and trying to come up with different recipes and varieties and pleasing everyone with a good tasting healthy meal. I would totally be up for God raining down some manna and sending me some quail. It's like God invented the first home delivery meal plan, when you think about it. Although, tell me, do I have to kill the quail? I have no idea how to even prepare quail. So forget that. Maybe not such a good idea after all.

I am really excited to tell you about a new one woman show I am performing in. You can catch me Monday- Thursday mornings, from 9:30am-10:00am in the church parking lot, where I ramble and rant and go off on everything and everyone...I share my opinion on just about anything! Thursday's show was a good one...from Facebook, to Ivanka's daughter, to transgender bathrooms, to the annoying feed on my Instagram, to can you believe how inexpensive the spices are at Caraluzzi's???? You really ought to come....the show starts directly after the 9am mass and we can grab coffee afterwards.

So Lent is right around the corner, and I thought about giving up social media for Lent. But this year, that doesn't seem so much like a sacrifice. I think the bigger sacrifice is staying on social media. Maybe I can build a wall around Facebook...

which is silly, because I am on Facebook...but not really. I always feel sad for the friends who find me and request to be my friend on Facebook. I imagine them showing up to a party, swinging open the door, and finding that they are the only one there. That's my Facebook page. My apologies in advance.

And for my parting thought....why do I look better in a snap chat animal filter than in real life? Seriously. I thought the deer filter was great, but you should see me as the snow bunny....so stinking adorable. Is it possible to bury me as the snap chat snow bunny when I die? Or at the very least, to use it on my obituary picture? I can not be the only woman who prefers to see herself in an animal filter. Perhaps this feeling about myself is something I need to unpack and explore....