dead animals in my kitchen, and dog interruptions...it is like God wants me to give up on prayer

I woke to my kitchen smelling like dead animal, and my bedroom has a diaper odor, which is all very concerning because I counted all of our pets and each appears to be breathing, and my youngest child is ten years old and potty trained. I think.

I also woke to many distractions. The dog who needed out of the crate while I was praying the rosary, the dog who then needed to pee while I was praying the rosary, the dog who then needed to poop while I was praying the rosary. And the need for more tissues, because after bragging about my immune system going up, it fell back down.

If it were not for a quick evening call from a friend last night who simply needed encouragement, this morning might have sent me over the edge, searching for dead animals and cursing the dog, and saying "forget it" to the prayer that obviously, God did not want me to pray.

Or did he?

You see, the call last night...it was truly as I said it was....a search for encouragement. She did not reach out to me because I had all of the answers (because I don't) and she did not call on me because she was looking for a solution (praise God for that, because I have none). She chose to pick up a phone in the midst of her weariness because she knows that I too, am weary, have been weary, will be weary. And that in my own moments of discouragement, I am a woman who turns her eyes up to the Lord.

sometimes.

Because as we discussed on the phone, when you are stuck in these moments, sometimes turning to the Lord is the LAST thing you feel like doing. Because let's be honest, He works on a totally different time clock than we do. We want solution NOW. We want PROOF that He is working for us and not slacking on the job. I don't know about you, but I want a God who microwaves my problems, not throws them in the slow cooker.

(let's all take a brief moment and pray for patience, shall we?)

Because there are no coincidences, but always God, I had been reading Psalm 69 the moment my friend called, "I am weary with crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes have failed, looking for my God." (psalm 69:4)

My eyes have failed looking for my God.

Oh, dear friends...how often my eyes fail to seek Him.

But I know this:

When our eyes fail to look, His eyes still see.

And sometimes the "no proof" He is working, is all the proof you need.

Because I have often found that it is in my weariest, bleakest days, that He is doing something amazing inside of me.

And the outcome may not look like the way I envisioned, but it is better. Always better. Because God is better.

He just is.

And how I got from dead animal and diapers to here, is a mystery, and might not make any sense at all, I realize...but I am on coffee cup number three and tissue box number two and I am trying to shake out the stuff in my heart before I leave for the day because well...I just have to. If I leave it all inside, I won't have any room for the good stuff that God has planned for me today. If I fail to empty out my heart of what is causing it stress, or joy, or pain, or frustration...I might miss the real issue. Make sure you do this before you go out into the world today, or look at your spouse. Empty yourself completely. Recognize what is fueling you today, and what is dragging you down. Stay awake to what is wrapping around your heart. And if you have no clue as to why you feel the way that you do, simply write it out, hand it to God, and say "Here. I am YOURS, right? You love me, right? Your only Son died for me. Right? Ok, good...so, help me, please. Tell me what this is all about, because I have no clue." (and yes, this is how I speak to God) And then, go take a shower and buy yourself an over priced fancy cup of coffee, because we all poo poo that, but secretly, walking around with a big ol' cup of pricey coffee in our hands makes us feel prettier.

I suppose I am just struck this morning by God.

Do I sound crazy?

I mean, I can not fathom how anybody wakes up and doesn't turn to God before anything else.

Even if it is to yell at Him.

I am just so in awe of Him.

And I am truly struck by Him today. (and it is only 8am)

I am struck at how He so beautifully uses each of us to hold each other up.

I am struck at how good it is to be weary to the point of throwing all self reliance out the window.

I am struck at how when you reach that point when you slide to the floor and hold out your hands and say "take it Lord, I have no idea what to do with this anymore" that immediately, you feel your heart soften just so.

And a soft heart God can work with.

When your eyes fail to look for the Lord, He is looking at you.

In that phone call.

In that tired friend reaching out.

Even in that stupid dog that interrupts you over and over again.

They are all lessons, all tests, all embraces, nods and winks from a God who is using every last bit of what you have got for His good and glory; taking every last drop inside and using it to sanctify you.

If you wake up today to distractions...kids, pets, spouses, illness, dead animals in your kitchen, whatever it may be that is keeping your head held face down to this temporary dwelling, and not allowing your eyes to look up to the Lord....call on that person in your life who will point you back in the right direction. Pick up a phone, open your heart, name your feeling and get real with a friend who you know will listen to you and pray for you and lift you up to the Lord. Seek out that friend who will not judge you and correct you, but will simply listen and acknowledge what you are going through. And if you do not have that one person; who speaks truth and life and light into your heart, who loves you and wants heaven for you, then call me. Seriously. E mail me and let's connect. Not because I have the answers for you, but because I know the One who does.

We really need to lean how to share our pain and to hold each others heads up when our own necks grow weary.

We have each other and we are called to be light to the world.

There is no reason for anyone to drown today.

"God, in your great kindness answer me with your constant help. Rescue me from the mire; do not let me sink."