unbelief

I realized something today.

Sitting before the Blessed Sacrament, I told Jesus, "I do not not know what else I can do to fix this."

And he answered me immediately, and I have to say I was embarrassed, because what He said was, "I am not asking YOU to do do anything. I have got this. YOU just pray."

I know there are people who think prayer doesn't work, is a waste of time, is ridiculous.

I was once one of those people not too long ago.

And even now, deep into my prayer life, I have nights of real fear and doubt.

But God.

If I think about Him...really turn to Him...he never fails to show me the ways He HAS shown up.

I think we are just really good at complaining.

I think we have gotten really good at focusing on what we do not have, rather than, what we have been given.

(And do not even deserve.)

Because I have seen His works.

Demons have come out, sight has been restored, and the dead have come to life; all a result of prayer.

It is okay to bring Him our doubts.

It is okay to say IF YOU CAN help me...please help me.

Just so long as we continue to inch our way closer to Him; so long as we never hesitate to show him our wounds, and cry out for His mercy.

Sometimes the best prayer we can say is the one that addresses our unbelief.