school lunches, squirrel funerals, and other Friday ramblings

I lovingly and very thoughtfully packed my 18 year olds lunch this morning; his last school lunch ever. He graduates High School this Tuesday. Memories of his precious spiderman lunch box, those awful lunchables, and the treat---trader joe sushi, flooded my mind, as my pair of much older hands assembled the last of so many years, and so many lunches. My strapping young man came into the kitchen and said, "I don't need a lunch today. But do you have a few dollars for gas?"

So, what do you do when a dog catches a squirrel?

That is not a joke.

I am really asking.

What do you do?

Because my dog came really close this morning, and I am so not prepared for a squirrel funeral today. Or trip to the vet. Because both are costly. And I just gave the last of my money to my son for gas.

I put my cup of coffee in the microwave (sad, but true) and thought about how I can not wait for school to be done. Why do I kid myself year after year into thinking that kids home are easier than kids in school??? Actually, I can answer my own question. Because schools purposely make you miserable for the final weeks so that you THINK you want summer...you THINK it will be easier. It is like pregnancy. You get so big, so uncomfortable, so miserable, that you can not wait for that baby to come out. Cut to one week later and zero sleep, and you are on your knees praying you could shove that baby back inside of you for just one more night.

Yesterday I received an e mail reminding me of the 100 things I have to do in the next three seconds if I want my son to graduate high school. The very next e mail was from the middle school telling me the list of books my daughter has to read this summer, along with the September assignment due date. Hey school...you are killing me.

The last time I tried to work out I ended up with bursitis in my arm and shoulder.

This week I thought about working out....and ended up with bursitis in my neck and shoulder.

Clearly, working out is bad for me. Even in my mind.

So, I talked about time, and being intentional with it.

Have you come up with a plan to get good rest for yourself this summer?

Because I just came up with mine.

I am going to tie the BBQ around my neck and throw myself in the pool head first.

I am debating praying the rosary right now, or taking a shower. I am restless this morning, my mind in a million directions. I feel I need to be showered, dressed and ready...I have been on call for weeks now....needing to bring things to school, run checks over, etc etc ER doctors have got nothing on a mother of a high school senior. Can I just pray the rosary in the shower? Does that count? Is that weird?

I shared something that annoyed me with a good friend. It was a question a young mom asked about a bible study for mothers. She asked, "Is this for older moms, or for the moms who are in the trenches?" My friend exclaimed, "The young moms aren't in the tenches! They are in the sandbox!" I do not discount the struggles of a mom with little ones...because I was her once, too. I have an old blog full of stories, tucked away, to prove it. It is just that now that my children are older, I realize that we are never out of the trenches. In fact, I am pretty sure that it is the mom of older children who dug all of those trenches for us in the first place.

Yesterday after Mass, I watched a young man leave the church, head outside to the statue of Mary, and ....just stand there, gazing at her. And I was so moved. I still am. I even took a picture of him, which is stalker-ish and strange, I know. But it is always so moving to see the youth living out their faith. And there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a young man approach his mother with such tenderness. I pray my own boys find a faith like this. I pray it over them while they sleep, I pray it on my knees in their bedrooms when they are not home, I pray it before the sun rises, and I pray it with the clothes I clean and fold, the t shirts I put in dresser drawers, the sports uniforms I set out for each game.

And I pray over every single school lunch I make.

So that lunch today was not wasted after all.

It feeds him, regardless.

Eaten or not.