the giant jar of pickles, my swim suit design plans, and the homeless girl who haunts me

This morning my prayer was, "SERIOUSLY????"

So today our two youngest come home from five days at sleep away camp, and I gotta' say, the house was sort of depressing with out them. As my husband put it, "They are the kids who still LIKE us."

Because I decided to grow my hair out, naturally, I made myself a hair cut appointment. I am my own worst enemy.

As of today, we have purchased no school supplies, or done our summer reading. We are rebels, like that. And by rebels, I mean veteran procrastinators and not that organized. Oh, back to school, how I really don't like you.

My husband bought a GIANT jar of pickles from Costco, that take up the entire fridge space. I finally took it out, and found pounds of gone bad lettuce, sour cream, and pasta sauce. Come to think of it, I haven't seen the cat in a while. Better take another look. Honestly, if there is a pickle shortage out there somewhere, it is because of my husband. If you like pickles, please come over. And if you are looking for a birthing pool, or a place to store your pet elephant, I will save the jar for you when we are done.

In my head I think that summertime/bathing suit season should be the time you take care of your body, and eats lots of fresh fruits and veggies. So, my head is in great shape. It is the rest of me that thinks summer is the time to eat more, drink more, move less and let yourself completely go.

I know that the world is in trouble, but after a trip to my beloved NYC this week, I couldn't wrap my head around the trouble I saw on one city block. A young girl sat on the sidewalk with a sign that read "18 years old and homeless." I walked by her, and I did not stop, but I can not get her eyes out of my head. Her face. Her hair. She is just 18. My son is 18. I have been praying for her and for her mother ever since. I have fantasized about going back to that block, just to see if she is there. When I close my eyes at night, I see her. Not far from her was a woman, sitting small on the ground. My husband handed her some money, and then touching her leg, asked for her name, followed by, "It is lovely to meet you." And she wept. It made me weepy too. I have no answers on how to mend this broken world, but I can't help but believe that whatever it is we do, we need to start simple. Reach out. Touch. Call by name.

I really dread giving up my 6:45 am mass when school starts up again. The silence is so silent it is loud. If that makes any sense at all.

At the 9am mass this week, right at the time of the Eucharist, a toddler started to wail. I couldn't help but be drawn closer in to, because crying out with your entire heart and soul when presented with the body and blood of Christ, felt incredibly appropriate and beautiful. He gave sound to my state of heart, as he clung to his mother, and as I clung to mine.

There are a few things this summer that really changed me for the better. The first, the earlier mass. I learned that how I use and give and spend my time from 5:30 am - 10 am, pretty much sets up the rest of my day. The second, a lemon no bake pie that takes four seconds to make and three second to eat and the rest of your life to work off. Recipe is on my Pinterest board for those looking for an easy way to pack on ten pounds. And the third? The bathing suit skirt. Yes. I am in that season of life. Next year I will be wearing the bathing suit dress, followed by the bathing suit track suit, and bathing suit Snugi.

And did I mention that my prayer this morning was, "SERIOUSLY?" I plan on changing that as the day goes on...need some time to recall the good things God has done, and remember that, as my husband told me days ago, (when I implied that the Blessed Mother had let me down, and was doubting this whole heaven is my home and God is still good and for I know the plans I have for you mumbo jumbo)......."She is not done working yet." I guess I will make that the first on my list of good things to recall today. My husband. He is good at recalling. He is good at noticing the homeless, his wife included, sitting small on the street, waiting to be reminded that our names are known, that we are not alone.

So this sleep away camp sends hundreds of pictures of the great fun the kids are having every single day. I admit, I have not sat and looked at them all. There are soooo many, and I have no doubt, my children are happy and in good hands. And if they aren't? Well then, why would I want to see a picture of that? That would be a killjoy for sure. But what I do love is this...the "picture of the day". One single photo the camp highlights that tells a great story. I like that a lot. And I think it is something we all need to do. Choose just one moment of our day and really look at it; enjoy it, remember it, and be grateful for it. The picture on this post? That is my picture of the day. It reminds me that I need to put down the lens of the world, and see today through the lens of God. A lens with no filters. No enhancements. Only the God filter. It just strikes me as so interesting that right in front of this woman is a total masterpiece! Authentic, real, beauty, right there to take in and enjoy. And I wonder how many times have I been staring at a masterpiece, only to pick up the lens of the world, and place it between us? How many times have I been looking right into the face of Jesus, only to cloud it with my own distraction?

And now I am thinking about that 18 year old girl again...Lord, have mercy on her.