living differently

"One who has hope lives differently."- Pope Benedict XVI

You would think, the huge Sister Miriam fangirl that I am, I would take a photograph of myself with her, should I ever meet her, and post it on every social media outlet.

Well. Last night I met her. And no. I didn't ask for a photograph. I didn't even think about taking a photograph. I came home with zero photographs.

I did sob like an idiot, however, when I opened my mouth to speak to her. So there's that.

And why did I cry?

I am not so sure.

But if I had to guess...I would say, that when you get close to someone whose honest, authentic, love for the Lord is something you can reach out and hold onto...it brings you to tears. Beauty just does that, doesn't it?

She lives differently.

And it is something you long to be near.

She lives differently, and it is so beautiful, you are moved to tears.

God bless the poor woman, who listened attentively as I cried through my words, and then asked if she could give me a hug.

SHE asked ME...."Can I give you a hug?"

And all I can think about this morning, head reeling from the evening, pouring over the notes I scribbled down, possibly still crying, ...is her asking me..."Can I give you a hug?"

Because this is what I imagine Jesus asks us, when we approach Him honestly in our brokenness.

This is what I'll bet He says to me, when I sit at the foot of the cross, crying out to Him from a well so deep inside, I had no idea it was even there. I imagine that He sees us when we do this, and that He listens attentively, and then ever so kindly, because He is so kind...He asks, "Can I give you a hug?"

Sister Miriam says that "everybody wants to be loved as a person, not as a problem to be fixed."

And I am thinking that maybe we wouldn't be so exhausted all day long if we just stopped trying to fix everything and everyone one and simply loved....simply asked if we can give a hug.

Or maybe she was so freaked out by my ugly cry, she though that if she hugged me, I would walk away. Not entirely impossible. But to spare myself the humiliation, and based on the fact that she is a Nun...I'm gonna go the compassionate route, rather than the "I freaked her out" route.

So, no, I did not get a photograph, but I did get a hug. From Sister, and from Jesus. And just like that, hope is renewed, as is the desire to live this life of mine rooted in the One who loves me unconditionally; to live this life of mine in absolute certainty that He hears my persistent prayers and answers them; to live this life of mine differently, as one who has hope.