is your life a disaster? Yes? Good.

"What appears to be a disaster from his perspective is meaningful from God's perspective."

This is what Bishop Robert Barron writes in his reflection on todays's Gospel (Matthew 1:16, 18-21, 24A) on this Solemnity of Saint Joseph.

And this might be one of the greatest challenges, the biggest obstacle to our faith. The "But, why?" The, "save me from this hour." The demand for a sign. The need to know what happens next.

Joseph asks none of this.

I have been working on this thing, this attitude...this response, to those very circumstances in my life that appear to be a disaster. I have been practicing "living in the moment", not allowing my mind to go back to the past, nor giving it permission to race ahead into the future; only resting in the right here right now, even if it appears to be a disaster, especially if it looks like a mess. Because after years of asking God to take this cup from me, while simultaneously praying that He reveals His will for me...it has finally been made clear - this cup before me is His will for me! Go figure. And the sooner I accept it - the cup - His will - the sooner the peace will come. I believe that.

But believing doesn't make it easy.

When life throws us a curve ball, a blindside, an unpleasant piece of our story, I think we are all like the toddler you try to strap down in the car seat; resisting, arching our backs, not giving in, refusing to relax and let go and rest in the very place we are being asked to be. And we can fight this forever. We can cry and scream and struggle against it until finally, we collapse from exhaustion and fall asleep; limbs sore from the pushback, face red and cheeks soaked with tears.

But I don't want to collapse. And I don't want you to collapse, either.

Joseph accepted God's will without knowing much at all. And here we all are, kicking and screaming and filled with anxiety, unable to sleep, and eating too much or not able to eat at all, because we need to know. We want to be filled in on the details, on what to expect, the full plan. We are impulsive and emotional and it just about kills us to not have control, to not map it all out, to truly have no say in how it is going to all unfold. We get angry if someone spoils the end of a movie. We yell, "Don't tell me what happens, I haven't watched it yet!" when friends are discussing a favorite show. But when it comes to our own story, we have no patience. When it comes to real life, the suspense of waiting until the end is all too much. If our lives were a book, how many of us would flip to the last page to see how it all turns out?

And yet, we know that ruins the story. We know that peeking ahead destroys everything that comes before it. And that everything that comes before it is not useless, meaningless words...but actually, the only way the ending makes any sense at all.

What if today we decide to do life differently? To respond differently? What if today, instead of wanting to know the end, we be present to the now? What if today instead of skipping to the last paragraph, we read the page we are on? What if instead running from the cup, we reach for it? Would things really get worse, could things get worse, if we did this? I mean, honestly? Do we truly believe we can change God's plans? Do we actually think our ways are better than His? Have we yet to trust that His will is always for our good?

If we do nothing at all to celebrate Saint Joseph today, maybe we can do this. Maybe we can focus on today. Not what happened yesterday. Not what could possibly happen tomorrow, next week, this summer, or even in an hour. Maybe we can intentionally accept the right here right now, believing that because it is God's will, disaster or not, it has meaning. Whatever the situation or current crisis might be, what if we choose to believe that this is the greatest, most necessary gift ever? That this story, if we are patient and obedient, is going to have one heck of a glorious and beautiful ending - better than we could possibly write.

Hard, right?

It is. But you know what is harder? Living by and following our own will; ego run, and always centered on the me, with limitations and road blocks and no lasting fruit.

I pray today that Saint Joseph will be with each of us. Right in our mess. In the midst of the trouble. That he will inspire us to say nothing, and to demand nothing. That he will help increase out trust to the point that we stop arching our backs and resisting the place we are being asked to rest in. That we can pray in confidence Psalm 92, "O Lord, how great are your works! How deep are your designs!" and actually mean it.

Saint Joseph, pray for us.