my holy discontent, unnecessary aggravation, two dollar coupons, God's promise... and Lew. The T

Friday morning

Can we all just agree that Friday always comes exactly when it is needed. Amen? Amen.

Not sure why...not like anything different happens on Friday, it just comes with a license to let go a little and care a whole lot less.

I mean, I don't have kids that need help with homework on weeknights making this night a day off from my loving instruction, guidance and help. (please, I can't even do fourth grade math, so help with homework ended years ago.)

I kind of stopped packing lunches a few weeks ago...at least for all the kids...because...well...I am over it. So I feed the one that looks the most hungry. It seems to be working.

And it is not like my husband and I have Friday date night we look forward to....ever...

but just knowing today is Friday?

It is like suddenly all things are possible.

My inbox is ridiculously full lately, and things aren't working....like this website, for instance....so if you are wondering why your lovely comment in previous posts has not appeared, that is why...I see them....I love them...I just can't post them. So much unnecessary aggravation we live with, don't you think? (I originally typed love instead of live...so much unnecessary aggravation we love with.....sadly, I think that works, too.) And don't get me started on the whole phone charger thing. Or ear buds. We seem to buy them constantly and in a matter of minutes they are all gone. And then....the aggravation. The panic. I swear, I have had two kids practically flatline because they had no charger. I am convinced that Satan works for Apple.

Unnecessary aggravation, people.

Just something I have been thinking about...all the things that cause us stress...or worry...or have us tied up in knots. What if we just stopped doing them? Scary, right? And yet pretty sure the sun would still rise and phones would still need to be charged so really, if we stopped, it would still be all good...and well if not all good, at least all grace. I think we need to really look at what we are saying yes to and what is dragging us down and what is filling us up and what is a total waste of our time and nothing other than a Godless distraction. We ought to be living well, not weary.

Anyone else have kids that put empty cartons back in the fridge? Or empty Larabar boxes back in the cupboard? Why? Why on earth would someone do this? Could this be my holy discontent? Because it drives me mad and I swear, I am going to start up a foundation based on this stupid, daily annoyance. Because how hard can it be to throw an empty box away? Leaving it is MEAN...it is a lie...a false hope...and that is not cool. That, and people who do not put their shopping cart away. If I ever lose my ***t on anyone, it will be on the person who leaves their cart in the middle of a parking space. Well, that person, or the woman at Target yesterday who held up the line for what felt like an eternity, over a two dollar coupon issue. I nearly handed her my credit card so she could buy all of her things because the two dollar coupon practically killed me. Honestly. I was moments away from taking myself to the ER.

Stressed? Me? Why yes? How did you know?

But I have a plan. Confession. I need to go. For obvious reasons. (did I tell you the story about the two dollar coupon???) Find a spiritual director. ( Because faith is hard and I am stuck and I don't like it.) Make a Dr's appointment for me...and not my child...go figure. (Because stress can kill you. And while the thought of heaven is everything...I worry that if I die no one will remind Luke to cut his fingernails.) Go for a walk. The outdoors thing? Key for me. Especially now that it stopped snowing and as far as I know, there is no tornado today. The one great thing about moving homes every five minutes? New growth...trees...flowers...the bursts of colors and smells that were not here on that winter day we moved in....it is like God slapping me in my face and saying, "Shut up and LOOK and what I made for you!"

Speaking of shutting up...today's Gospel? Did you read it? Because I couldn't get past the first line. STOP COMPLAINING. Yeah. Right? All I have to say about that is...so . not. easy. Frankly, complaining is the only way my husband and I communicate...not about each other...although sure, that is a piece of it...but about everyone else. From people we know to people with the freaking two dollar coupon...WE COMPLAIN like it is our JOB...or our love language. We are so darn good at it. If we don't complain about others, what the heck will we talk about? I tried giving up complaining for Lent, and for a week all I did was complain about how hard my Lenten sacrifice was.

Still thinking about those knots...and how I need to hand them over and focus on the spaces in between...how even with knots and distress and unnecessary aggravation....He is still there, in the midst of all the things. In the peonies in my backyard, in the sweet piece of unexpected hand written mail, in the way the sun came through the window this morning, in the conversation with Lew, the cashier at Trader Joe's, that frankly...was just silly and fun and so life giving...because well...Lew was kind. Actually kind. And Lew had no idea that I needed someone to be kind and gentle with me in that very moment. That's the best kind of kindness. That's God working through Lew.

I read this morning in my devotional about recalling the perseverance of Job, and the promise of the Lord.

Think about that for a little today. I am going to. While I take my walk....because who doesn't need perseverance? And who can not benefit from recalling and drawing on and living out fully the promise of the Lord? Especially on a Friday.