serving in stillness : for those struggling to hang on when God is actually whispering "let go

In the last week, I have gone on three walks, cleaned the entire house, and read one book from cover to cover. That is three walks, one cleaning, and one book more than I have gone on, done, and read, in the last six months.

I also cut peonies and lilacs from the yard and brought them inside, nursed a single glass of red wine for hours, and helped my daughter clean out the guinea pig cage.

While some are making fabulous summer bucket lists, and planning vacations, and signing kids up for all sorts of camps, and searching for ways to fill absolutely every second of the summer day just to be sure we combat loneliness and boredom at all costs...and yes...all costs, because have you seen the prices of summer camps?....

...I am cutting peonies and going for walks and seeing to it that the water in the dog dish is always fresh and full.

And I do this because I have realized that while under the enemy attack it is a good thing to do a little bit more...to not change up your routine...to dig your heels in and stand your ground....to pray a couple of more minutes than usual...I cannot deny the soft nudge and gentle voice that, just the same, lovingly whispered in my ear, just stop. It is okay to rest. Serve me with your stillness.

I think that for those of us who might find ourselves in less than desirable circumstances, the knee jerk reaction is to take big action, right? Be on the go, fill up the planner, sign up for more, volunteer for this and that, not give up, hold on tightly, and go go go go go go.....maybe because it is mere distraction, or a false sense of importance or it gives us a title or purpose that sounds way better than what God is really calling us to step up and into. And when it comes to ministry it is harder to draw the line...because really, how can ministry be bad? How can serving others to praise the Lord be anything but good? Dare I say, it is those in ministry who feel the attack the hardest, who are the most confused, who suffer with this decision to stay or to go, serve or be served.

A new season approaching is always a good time to do an inner self check.

Am I doing to avoid?

Am I serving to fill others or myself?

Am I on the go because remaining right here is not where I want to be?

Am I digging my heels in and going another round because if I loosen up and let go the empty space will be too much and my purpose might be gone?

Have I gone for a walk, cleaned the house, read a book, or filled the dog dish because these are all free gifts where I can encounter God and offer up as a prayer in the simplest most beautiful way?

Or are they last items on an endless to do list that feel more like a boring obligation and a mundane chore?

Is that walk to thin the thighs and lift the rear only because swim suit season is near, or do we move the capable legs and swing the able arms to clear the mind and hit re-fresh and breathe in good air, seeing new buds on trees and children on trikes and saying "good morning" to faces you nearly missed and might have never seen?