I am all in Lord.....right after I take care of this....and other excuses for not following Jesus

I just prayed to the Holy Spirit asking Him to help me write what is on my heart in no more than five sentences because for some reason that is most likely nothing short of a mental snap, I chose to give up carbs and as a result I am starving because newsflash....I only eat carbs....and they do fill me...and so I really want to write but I also really want to make an egg white omelet.

I read today's Gospel and thought to myself.....huh. A man asks to follow Jesus, and is told that while foxes have dens to sleep in, the Son of Man has nowhere to rest His head. Another man is eager to follow, but asks if he could just bury his father first...then he is good to go. And Jesus basically says, nope. Let the dead bury the dead..you wanna follow me or what? Forget the funeral....it is time to go.

And this is where I struggle with my faith life and my life of earthly obligation. Because I would honestly leave it all right now. But there is that question of, "How would we survive?" I recently stepped down from a ministry position because my earthly obligations were sliding. But as my husband points out...when I claim he is too distracted by work and needs to put it aside...this is how we pay the bills.

At what point do we say, God you come first...even before family....even before work...even before bills....

At what point do we say, I do not care where I rest my head so long as I am with you, Lord...you are all the rest that I need...

It appears to me that this is a real issue of trust and balance and knowing our mission, and as Bishop Robert Barron says, "What is more important than the mission? Nothing."

I am going to make my omelet and mourn the fact that there are zero carbs on my plate as I contemplate this...what is my mission? Where is God calling me right now? Not tomorrow, not in a week, not even tonight, but this very moment.

And what am I holding on to...what I am I using as a distraction...using as an excuse...what is it in my life that causes me to pause and tell God, "I am all in...but first, let me take care of this....."?