do you want the prize?

I am thinking about a lot of things this morning. I love when God stirs my heart and mind like this. When I sit down to prayer and do not follow my rigid routine of litany and rosary and psalm...but truly sit in the quiet and give HIM permission to lead me to exactly where I need to go.

This is the place that He took me.

Running the race.

And why bother to run it in completion when it freakin' hurts.

When I was in labor with my first born it hurt so much (it was so not like "a headache in your stomach", as my birthing class instructor had told me. It was more like "an airplane flying out of my you know what") So blindsided by the reality that giving birth involves unspeakable pain, I asked the nurse if I could go home. Seriously. Ask my husband. I had decided that what ever the reason I was there for was not worth it in comparison to the pain I had to endure..and so could we please just bag it all, get me dressed and send me back home.

As if quitting in the middle of labor and returning home meant that the pain would be gone; that the plan set in motion would be erased. As if what God had already clearly started inside of me was going to simply fade away because I decided it was not the best thing for me in that moment.

The nurse explained that she had never sent anyone home who was in active labor with the baby still inside of her. I had no choice. I was too far into the race. I had to endure. I had to finish.

That is when I asked for small rodents to throw across the room. Like a hamster or something...I never went back to further explore this odd and violent action that at the time seemed like a reasonable and appropriate idea. Just happy to report, I have never had that thought or urge since.

But the race. How many races have I set out to run...because it is a race and a path that God has called me to...only to stop half way through...when it got too long or too painful or too hard? And why do I do this? Why do we do this? (I am assuming there is someone out there like me)

Far too many times, is my answer. And here is the crazy thing. When I do this? When we do this? When I choose not to finish the race and go my own route that is more comfortable and less terrifying?

THE RACE GETS LONGER.

THE RACE GETS MORE UNCOMFORTABLE.

THE RACE GETS INCREASINGLY MORE TERRIFYING.

So why do we continue to do this? To not endure?

We forget about the prize.

When I was in labor and asked to go home? I forgot I was giving birth to my first born baby. That I was about to finally see and hold and kiss the sweet baby I could not see for nine months but was already in love with. My eyes were not fixed on the gift about to be received, but rather, fixed on the certainty that I was about to be torn in half for no good reason.

We forget about the witnesses who have gone before us.

So focused on the pain, I failed to remember that I could do this; that billions of women have had babies. That it is actually a do-able thing. That my chances of leaving with a swaddled baby were greater than being split down the middle.

I failed to remember and I took my eyes off of the prize, and so I wanted to quit because, really, was this race even worth it?

And I think we do this. I think we do this a lot. Not just when we are giving birth, but when we are called to hard places and put in unexpected situations. And it has me thinking...do we want the prize?

Seriously, pause for a moment and really ponder that. Because when I read Hebrews 12:2 this morning, it caused me to pause, and I have read this verse a gabillion times and never have I felt the need to think about it for more than a second.

Do I want the prize? Do I believe the prize is worth it? Do I want Christ himself enough that running and enduring is a no brainer?

Do we truly and really with our entire heart and soul want the prize at the end of the race? Because no one gets a prize for not finishing.

Now honestly? I can turn this post into an hour long talk or a two day mission...which is where I think it is heading...but because I have grocery shopping to do I will end it here, for now. But think about this today. Because I think it is important. Before I get into examples that are flooding my mind right now...like Daniel, and Exodus...those who were called to run into fire and water and GOD MET THEM THERE and protected them from the burn and the drowning and so they were able to endure....let us pause here for now and ask ourselves these simple but amazing questions.

What is your race? (that thing that feels like it has gone on for way too long and there is no end)

Who are your encouragers? (look to the Saints as well as those people in your everyday life who are true over comers and distant life runners)

Do you want the prize? (on what are you fixing your eyes? On the pain of the race or on the sweetness of Christ?)

This right here I believe is our way to endurance. To not only to running but to finishing. And not just to finishing but to finishing well.

Would you do this today? Open your Bible to Hebrews 12 and sit in the quiet and ask yourself these three simple questions? Yes? Good. And then after you do that...lace up your sneakers and get to running, sister. And know that I am running right along side of you. It is always easier to run with a friend, isn't it? And remember...Christ is the prize at the end of your race, and I promise you...because He promises us....He is so totally worth it.

(morning reflections and writings and pondering inspired by the Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Daily Bible)