encouragement for all of you mamas...lion of lions

Day one of back to school done and dare I say... went smoothly. For the most part.

Lunches are still a struggle. My children don't eat sandwiches, or like to eat in public, and peanut butter kills people so that is out, and I made the bold decision to not buy my youngest a lunch box this year because he lost three last year - and one was my husband's that I let him borrow for the day and well, that went well...- and by the way, have you seen the price of a lunch box these days? Next to the cost of that calculator, and the Trapper Keeper, it's up there with my mortgage payment. So yeah. No lunch box. So on day one I hand delivered a lunch to the High School because if I buy an overpriced prepared sandwich from a fancy grocery store the sandwich will be consumed. But if I dare attempt to make the same exact sandwich myself for a fraction of the price it will live in her backpack for months until it turns green and furry. And my high school freshman couldn't find her bus, and called in a panic, "get me out of here, mom!" So there was another trip to the same school...but no worries, she is totally fine and despite the bus trauma, when asked how the first day of high school went, staring into her phone she said, "It was good...I looked great...the lighting in this school is so much better... makes me look good."

People. That is an actual quote. I love her so much.

But my favorite part of the first day of school? I loved that it landed on the Feast Day of Saint Monica.

Because I went to morning Mass and I saw all of you mamas...all of you lunch packing, clothes folding, notebook buying, mamas.

All of your worries...will they be safe? will they be happy? will they make friends? I heard them without your even needing to voice them.

And all of your hidden fears....will they be able to make it through the day? will they be able to focus? will just one person smile at them? will this year be better than the last? will they be afraid? will their anxiety get the best of them? I heard these, too.

And I am not talking about the elementary school kids. I am talking about our Middle Schoolers. Our High Schoolers. Our College bound.

Before my son returned to college we looked at tattoo designs on line. Yup. I did. I also listened to my fair share of hard core rap this summer...and no, most of it is not pleasing to the Lord AT. ALL. but gotta admit, a few tunes are pretty catchy. I also read The New Copernicans by David John Steele - a book about Millennials and the survival of the Church...God bless and protect our sweet, and deeply wounded Church. And I began to write my second book...that is based on the sword in my own mama heart. And I spent much of this summer in a sorrow so deep, that I was basically given two choices: cling to the cross, or cling to nothing. I chose the cross. And I chose to take a deep dive into the minds of our children...what they are listening to, watching, basically, what they are feeding on. And I didn't do too much talking or preaching - I am certain that the way I live out my own personal daily life is instruction enough -but rather, I listened.

Our children? They are all sorts of broken. Like our world. Like our families. Like our marriages. Like our Church. Like their mamas.

So yes. Saint Monica? My ROCK STAR SAINT. And if you are a mama who is walking around with a smile on your face and a sword in your heart...know that I am praying for you...and get close to Monica. Your tears...endless, I know...are not wasted but stored up. They are literally powerful prayers that are so strong, so effective, so holy...that they have nowhere to go but to spill out of your eyes....those eyes that see your children...see your marriage... and desire the best of everything for everyone. So go on and cry it out, mamas...cry out those prayers.

I am late for Mass now. This happens always.

So...quick clean wrap up to all of this?

The tattoo my son is looking at is of a Lion.

"I love the Lion of Judah!" I told him.

He rolled his eyes.

"It is just a lion, mom...stop staying saying the Lion of Judah...the Lion is strength."

"Okay. Just a lion. I like it."

Yesterday morning while praying with my devotional, I came upon this verse from Ezekiel 19:2-3.

What a Lioness was your mother, a lion of lions! Among young lions she couched to rear her whelps. One whelp she raised up, a young lion he became.

Remember this, sorrowful mamas...struggling mamas...hurting mamas...life after loss mamas... (which aren't we all, to some extent?)...you are a LIONESS. A lion of lions. And no matter what life looks like right now under your roof, that does not change. Do not give up on your young lion...continue to make those lunches, and respond to the panic calls, and pay those co-pays, and meet with the teachers, and drive to the new therapist, and take them to sports, and wipe those tears, and listen to their fears...as only you can do.

And now the Mass I am incredibly late for? The Feast Day of Saint Monica's young lion, Saint Augustine.

Oh sweet friends...this is no coincidence.

So fluff up your mane, and stand strong today....

and raise up that whelp of yours.

We have young lions in the making, you know.

And God promises that our reward?

It will be great.

You are more than just a lion.

You are a MOTHER.

A lioness.

A lion of lions.

Saint Monica and Saint Augustine...pray for us.