talking to recordings, reading Chinese, and my gift of over sharing. It must be Friday.

I have developed a beautiful relationship with Cynthia, the woman at my insurance company, who has been helping me figure out 4,000 medical bills that to me, are like reading Chinese. And in case you are wondering...I do not speak Chinese. Therefore, I can not read them.

I also can't pay them.

Even if I were Chinese, I could not pay them.

I told Cynthia that she better get a raise and that no one has ever cared for me the way that she does. Thankfully, Cynthia has a sense of humor and so she laughed. And was not creeped out.

And so today I am praising God for people like Cynthia; who do their job with joy and laughter and make people who are in debt and distress because clearly, they are struggling with a loved one who calls an ambulance like its an Uber...blessed are these people, for sure.

The only down side to getting Cynthia on the phone is the deep well of patience required to dig, as you sit through the telephone recording that presents you with 508 options to press and choose before getting to your hearts desire. The urge to talk back to the recording is strong and dangerous..because while you know this is not a real person....you still are so tempted to talk back. (or is this just me?) And we all know what happens if we speak during the recording, right? We get screwed.

Yesterday, I had to sit through "choose 1 if you want to change your phone number, choose 2 if you want to change your billing address, choose 3...." and because I did not dig deep enough a well and was completely out of patience, I decided to finish the sentence for her.

"....if you want to change your LIFE."

Anyway. I thought that was funny. The recording, however, apologized for not recognizing my request, and so it sent me back to the beginning.

And I am pretty sure I approach prayer sometimes in the same exact way. I don't want to sit and be patient. I don't want to hear my options. I just want to blurt out what God needs to do for me, like...change my LIFE...and be done.

But praise be to God for people like Cynthia...who make the journey fun...who, while in the midst of doing what is actually some pretty crappy work and dealing with all the things you never imagined would be yours to deal with...remind you that just because your situation is not the best, and quite possibly among the very worst...there is still something to laugh at. There are still people to be joyful with. Life, in fact, does not need to change at all...because I don't know why I feel this way - and thank you Jesus that I do - but this incredibly unpredictable, often uncomfortable, many times frightening, and every day heart breaking life that I am living is PERFECT. Broken, messed up, a little annoying and many times frustrating...and yet...perfect.

How is this possible?

My guess?

Prayers.

And not just mine.

But yours too.

I am finally knowing what it feels like to FEEL YOUR PRAYERS.

At least I imagine this is what it must be.

Because if you put my circumstances on paper right now, you might die.

You might feel compelled to drink a lot.

You might want to run head first into a brick wall.

You might feel sorry for me.

But most likely?

You'd have a similar story.

I think we all have a story.

Actually, I don't think, I know.

Just some of us feel more comfortable and not just comfortable but called, to share it.

On the internet.

So where is this going?

Nowhere.

Absolutely nowhere.

Except that I want you to know that there is still joy and happiness when all feels lost.

And that if you ever wonder where God is in the midst of your pain, I found him in Cynthia, amongst the bills and the fear and desire to run from my life...I found Him, in her.

So, thank you Cynthia.

Or should I say, 谢谢.

For being happy.

For being Christ to me.

For translating the confusion and pulling out the good.

If I were your boss, you'd totally get a raise.