fun facts, why I should be dead, and the way God speaks to me. Hello friends. It is Monday. I am bac
Fun Fact. I love to sing.
Since as long as I can remember. From belting out loud in the dining room with the ANNIE soundtrack, to quietly humming a sweet melody into the ears of my precious babies. Once upon a time, I had big dreams of becoming a Broadway musical star, singing on a grand stage in front of thousands of fans. But God had other dreams in mind for me. Like singing in the kitchen and mini van... to a less than thrilled crowd of children.
And I catch myself. In fact, just this week, I caught myself. Singing. And I know, that doesn’t sound like something to “catch” or even something to write about, but here is the deal. At the time, I was not happy. In fact, I was walking through an incredibly difficult and painful circumstance. I should have been paralyzed with fear. I should have been screaming or crying or too sorrowful to make any sound at all. Honestly? At this stage of the game..I should be dead. Or drunk on a beach. Or half way to Mexico. And yet, I caught myself, still. In the kitchen. Cleaning the counter. And singing.
Another fun fact.
I wake up singing.
OK, so not like Cinderella or Snow White. Not out loud song with mice helping me out of bed. Although, that would be adorable. But often, I wake up with a song in my heart. It is the first thing that I hear. And I think this is God. I think he puts a new song in my heart while I sleep. I think He sees the hard season I am in, and so He sends me a melody, lyrics that move me, a tune that assures me it will all be okay. Just as I sang into the hearts of my children as they slept, could it be, my Father does the same with me? It is the only explanation, really.
With Thanksgiving Day just around the bend, and blessings on the mind, I looked ahead in my devotional for some gratitude inspiration. Truth is, when you are in the eye of the storm, giving thanks, would you agree, is not the first thing on your lips? There are many words that come to mind before thank you. So I needed extra help in the gratitude department...and I peeked ahead. What I discovered is that the Feast Day of Saint Cecilia - my Confirmation Saint - and the Patron Saint of music - falls on Thanksgiving Day. And because I do not believe in coincidence, but fully believe in God, I had to pause and well.... smile. How blessed I am to have my Saint and My Lord orchestrating behind the scenes of my life while I am sleeping! No wonder this weary soul of mine goes to bed mourning, and literally wakes up in a song. How grateful I am for this good gift. How thankful I am for this song of faith that covers me while sleeping. Take your Saint Name seriously, sweet friends...they truly have our back.
And God? He never stops working. Never. And I am just about convinced that his greatest work is being done while we are complaining and demanding to know why He isn't doing anything.
I set my alarm earlier than usual last night. I am in an incredible season, which could mean great or horrible and well, quite simply, it is probably both...but none the less, I know that this week ahead is going to require much of me and way much more of God. A little extra time to pray is needed. And probably an upgrade in my coffee order size. When the alarm went off, and I silenced the noise of it...I heard a song.
"After all, You are constant. After all You are only good. Not for a moment will you forsake me."
I recognized the song...and immediately did an inventory of music I heard yesterday...was this one of them? Did I fall asleep listening to it? Is this why it is still in my head?
And the answer to all of these? No. No, I did not hear it. Or play it. Think of it. Or sing it at all yesterday.
After praying my morning rosary and before getting to Day 4 of my Consecration to Mary, I had to break my rule of no looking at my phone before 6am....and get out my phone and look up this song. I needed to know exactly what God was whispering to me while I slept; what He was reassuring me of. What He needed to tell me, remind me, and promise me. He is a pretty smart guy to do this while I am asleep, and can not interrupt Him or talk back or over Him!!! Truthfully, I am in awe of Him. He is amazing, and faithful and constant, and absolutely everything that I need.
The lyrics of this song, which I have never paid too much attention to, are exactly the words I needed to hear this morning. I also discovered that the song writer based this song on a few of my favorite, hang-on-to-dear-life, Scripture verses...one of which is engraved on a cross that hangs around my son's neck. Coincidence?
God can do more than we can possibly imagine and His arm reaches out to everyone and everywhere and when all is quiet and you do not feel Him or see Him and you are convinced He is not there...I truly believe that THIS is when He is doing His most important work. In you, in your loved ones, in all of us. HE IS CONSTANT. He is faithful. He will not forsake us. He is only good. THIS is what He sings over me all day long...every second of every joyful and sorrowful minute of each day...my whole life long...these very promises.
He is only good.
And so, I keep singing.
No matter how much I am asked to stop.
No matter how hard things get.
I keep on singing.
And so does He.
You were reaching through the storm Walking on the water Even when I could not see In the middle of it all When I thought You were a thousand miles away Not for a moment did You forsake me Not for a moment did You forsake me After all You are constant After all You are only good After all You are sovereign Not for a moment will You forsake me You were singing in the dark Whispering Your promise Even when I could not hear I was held in Your arms Carried for a thousand miles to show Not for a moment did You forsake me After all You are constant After all You are only good After all You are sovereign Not for a moment will You forsake me Not for a moment will You forsake me And every step every breath you are there Every tear every cry every prayer In my hurt at my worst When my world falls down Not for a moment will You forsake me Even in the dark Even when it's hard You will never leave me After all After all You are constant After all You are only good After all You are sovereign Not for a moment will You forsake me Not for a moment will You forsake me Not for a moment will You forsake me
