eruptions, disruptions and the deep meaningful lesson I am learning from the giant pimple on my face

I went to bed highly frustrated and bothered by a situation that appears to have NO. FREAKING. END. and I woke up to half of my face swollen. From a pimple.

People. I am nearly 50 years old. I have wrinkles so deep I look like a ventriloquist doll. My hair is turning grey. My breasts are at my ankles. Why on earth the pimple?

At first, I thought it was cancer. A giant tumor. Cancer of the face. Because it erupted out of nowhere . I mean, it is huge. You could climb it. Or ski down it. I'm not making this up. It is bigger than a volcano. Bigger than my dog. I don't understand it. One minute, not there. The next...brand new planet discovered on my face. Makes zero sense.

We like things to make sense don't we?

We like warnings before things erupt.

Especially when that thing is on our face.

Most definitely when that thing is on our heart.

God promised we would have trouble in this world and so why I am always so surprised when trouble erupts, is beyond me. Weak faith, I suppose. And why I think "why the blindside, Lord?" when really, if we are being honest...we kind of saw this coming from afar but chose to turn away and focus on our diet, or cleaning the house, or that new obsession with essential oils that you are currently in, not because you believe they are actually healing, but because the girl on your insta-feed who sells them is beautiful, has clear skin, gorgeous hair, and lives in an incredible house with a clean bathroom, perfect children and a handsome husband, and she is an artist and her hubby a musician, and so clearly...I will have ALL OF THAT if I use those stinking oils! She is a marketing genius. I look nothing like her, my family looks nothing like hers, and my bathroom is a mess. But I own twelve diffusers and perpetually smell like a mix of orange, peppermint and lavender, so there's that.

Did I mention this pimple is the size of a horse?

I don't do well with eruptions. I see them as disruptions. They disturb my lavender scented joy. They quickly de-rail me and send me into a chorus of "How Long Lord?". Because really. How long???? Have you ever asked that? Wondered that? Feared that, what if...there is no end???? That the answer to How Long is FOREVER?

And yet I know that is not true. Because of His dying and rising and the cross, I know that one day, I will have a joy that no one can take away. A joy greater than I could ever imagine. And I am pretty sure, though I can not guarantee, this joy will include clear skin.

So I have two diffusers going now, and I am going to go and exercise because, well..I want nice arms and a tighter rear...and I am going to try to take my focus off of the lump on my face, and ask the Lord how I can best treat what caused it. Because that is the thing with the disruptive eruptions in our lives. Often, they are the result of a slow build...they appear to just appear...but really, they have been building up on the inside...bit by bit...year after year...and even that weak faith of mine knows enough that the mountain that looks unmovable will level off...the steep climb that has us gasping for air will turn into a soft spot to rest...and Gods grace will pour down, covering the "How Long" long enough for me to catch my breath - reminding me that asking how long is better than asking why so long.

But I do wonder how long this pimple will be on my face because if it doesn't go away, I might have to baptize it or something because I swear, it is bigger than a newborn baby.