vanity, humility, and why I am running naked down Main Street cursing Jessica Simpson

A handful of months ago, when I learned how to breath again, I went on a self care binge, and made all sorts of doctor appointments for myself, for all sorts of reasons. These appointments seemed so far away, and lo and behold, now they are here...and all I can say is...

I never should have started praying that I lose vanity and GAIN humility because boy did God jump on that prayer fast.

When I made the appointment to have something ON MY FACE looked at, I figured, naturally, the only thing the doctor would look at was my face. I also figured the Doctor was a SHE and not a HE, so lesson learned on that one as well. All I have to say about that visit was...

I should have shaved.

Everywhere.

And worn bigger underwear.

And requested a female doctor.

I should have also mentioned I had two graduations this week before the Doctor mumbled something about cancer, took a blow torch to my face, and then said, "these spots will bubble and crust and scab over, stay out of the sun and I'll see you in a year."

How about I see you never again, Doctor?

Now I am headed out to have an ultra sound ...no, I am not pregnant....just another opportunity to completely embarrass myself because I am having images taken where no woman wants images taken.

To top off all of this self care fun, I am thinking about running naked down Main Street this afternoon while eating a meatball sub in case anyone else is working on vanity and humility and cares to join me. This will nicely expose my two scraped up knees because yes, that was me you saw falling on the sidewalk walking down hill to the car after Graduation in those Jessica Simpson heels.

Darn you Jessica with your awesome wedges that I am too old to wear but tried anyway.

The only good thing about any of this is that I had an allergic reaction to one of my 567 cats this morning. My eyes are so swollen, I can hardly see how stupid I look today.

And of course, the other good thing is my faithful Father.

Thank you, Jesus, for showing me just how vain I am. You are so good to me.