traveling with nothing

Some days...most days, actually, I have no idea what the Lord wants me to do and how to do it and even though I have got this book and lots of events on the calendar I still have that whisper in my head that tells me, "you have no idea what you are doing and you should really just stop."

(any other communicators feel this way????)

I received the kindest e mail last light...and it was that much needed encouragement that seems to come out of the blue at the most perfect time...and really, what is "out of the blue" other than the work of the Holy Spirit? Truly, nothing is by chance and what falls in our laps or better yet, on our hearts, at the moment the weariness feels like it might be too much, I do not believe it is out of the blue, but rather, out of His grace. But maybe that's just me. But actually, probably not.

And the Gospels last week beat me over the head with my call and duty to evangelize...to re-evangelize...and to bring nothing for the trip...which at first sounds harsh until I allow that whisper in and realize....I actually have nothing.

And that is the fear, really. What if I show up and have nothing to give? And yet, the bigger fear is, who am I to bring anything in the first place?

And so I am going to shut that subtle voice down and choose to read the encouragement instead and open my empty hands and get on planes and jump in cars and possibly a train and hit all of these events I have said yes to and then hit the ground hard and pray that the Lord shows up and does His thing through me, never because of myself, but only by His grace.

Because God is everything, I can show up with nothing, trusting that He is enough.