the worst best years of my life
The last decade was quite possibly the best worst years of my life.
Or the worst best years of my life?
I have a choice as to how I reflect on my forties.
I can look at all the bad...the sin, the terror, the violence, the death, the mourning, the grieving, the panic, the fear, the FEAR, the F E A R, the struggle, the broken, the wounded, the FEAR, the scattered, the sick, the addicted, the worry, the anxiety, the FEAR, the depression, the burden, the loss....
Or I can look at all the good...the book, the house, the writing, the ministry, the friends, the FRIEND, the mentors, the speaking, the evangelizing, the re-ordering, restoring, redeeming, re-building,REDEEMING, REDEEMING, REDEEMING, the silence, the reading, the praying, the healing, the learning, the believing, the freedom, the protecting, the saving, the hope...
It was a ten year battle, my friends, and I am not going to lie. I am still at war.
And that is okay.
Because if I weren't given the opportunity to face these trials, I might never have chosen to face Jesus. I might never have learned that my happiness in life has nothing to do with my circumstances, and my joy in life is not something I need to create, and that the love in my life is not something I am ever required to earn.
That I can suffer well. That I can live in the valley and still be faithful. That I can do battle, in Jesus's name.
And so welcome 50. Lord knows what you'll bring, but you can count on me bringing Jesus to you.