the worst best years of my life

The last decade was quite possibly the best worst years of my life.

Or the worst best years of my life?

I have a choice as to how I reflect on my forties.

I can look at all the bad...the sin, the terror, the violence, the death, the mourning, the grieving, the panic, the fear, the FEAR, the F E A R, the struggle, the broken, the wounded, the FEAR, the scattered, the sick, the addicted, the worry, the anxiety, the FEAR, the depression, the burden, the loss....

Or I can look at all the good...the book, the house, the writing, the ministry, the friends, the FRIEND, the mentors, the speaking, the evangelizing, the re-ordering, restoring, redeeming, re-building,REDEEMING, REDEEMING, REDEEMING, the silence, the reading, the praying, the healing, the learning, the believing, the freedom, the protecting, the saving, the hope...

It was a ten year battle, my friends, and I am not going to lie. I am still at war.

And that is okay.

Because if I weren't given the opportunity to face these trials, I might never have chosen to face Jesus. I might never have learned that my happiness in life has nothing to do with my circumstances, and my joy in life is not something I need to create, and that the love in my life is not something I am ever required to earn.

That I can suffer well. That I can live in the valley and still be faithful. That I can do battle, in Jesus's name.

And so welcome 50. Lord knows what you'll bring, but you can count on me bringing Jesus to you.

And you.

And you.

And you.