I do not hold all things together. But I still try.

Do you believe that God has a handle on things? Personally? In the world? In the lives of those whom you love most?

I went through a season (that when my prayer life is weak I tend to revisit) of unbelief in God. I. mean, I believed He existed, I just wasn't convinced He had my back. I told my therapist, "I feel like I am holding a giant cistern filled with water, and tiny holes. Every time I cover up one hole from leaking out, another one starts leaking. And so I move my hand to cover up that leak, and as soon as it stops, another one forms. I can't cover them all at once..."

If there was a contest for "the person who relies on themself to handle everything" I am confident I would win.

I opened my guided prayer journal this morning and was reminded that Laura does not hold all things together, but in fact, God does. "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." - Colossians 1:17. And I wasn't planning on writing this morning...in fact, I have a pre-written post that was already published minutes ago...but this landed on my heart in such a way that I had to put it in words for ....well...you? Maybe you need this reminder as I do.

Putting the cistern down is scary. It holds my most precious people inside. Watching them pour out and onto the floor denies me of my fierce mother instinct - to catch them before they fall. But God isn't asking me to put it down. He is asking me to hand it over to Him. He is all-powerful. He is everywhere. And He is mighty to save. My cistern is safer with Him.

What are you holding onto, believing it is all up to you?

What are you afraid might happen if you hand your most precious cistern over to God?

What is it that you do (shopping, drinking, eating, scrolling) instead of allowing God to take of things in HIS way and time?

What lies are you believing about you, your circumstances, and God?

On this Feast of The Immaculate Conception, sit with Mary in the silence and ask for her help. She will show you how to hand over everything with unwavering trust and belief in the One who holds all things together.

(this also really helps. seriously. if I had the money I would buy every single woman that I know their own copy. I believe it is a game-changer for our mental health and spiritual life and necessary in these times that we find ourselves in.)